It’s official!

(No, I’m not pregnant, so get that idea out of your head right now!)

I applied for graduation today!  By mid-November I will be done with classes, and in December I will officially be a college graduate with a B.A. in English.

OH, WHAT A RELIEF!!!!!

What does Ryan get to do while I have homework and no babysitter?

Okay, I decided tonight that I was MEANT to be an English major!  Seriously!  I am the biggest English nerd!  For all you other nerds out there, or for anyone who appreciates good art, here is a beautiful poem for you.  It is “Gods Grandeur” by Gerard Manly Hopkins.  (Fascinating man! I am doing research on him for my Senior research course.)

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs —
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

If you are really brave, try speaking this poem out loud.  The beauty of the language and the rhythm are like delicious cool marbles rolling around in your mouth.  Its amazing!

Nerd moment over!

*Note: Some of the formating of the poem is off.  I dont know why the computer wont do what I am telling it to!  Sorry!

I just took my Shakespeare final this morning, which means that I am halfway done with my 10 classes required for graduation! YAY! Five down, five to go, and I CAN DO IT! And now for the random thoughts…

I HATED my Shakespeare class. It’s really sad because I love Shakespeare, but the way this guy taught was awful and put a really bad taste in my mouth for my studies. He is one of those teachers who only does Independent Study for the extra money but doesnt really consider you a “real” student, and doesnt care if you succeed or fail. Sounds like a harsh judegement, but I have proof. First, there is the fact that his lessons were all in the exact same. Different questions, but the same stupid format that left me quite boggled and frusterated all sixteen times as to what it was he wanted. At first I thought that maybe it was just one of those classes where you hate the teacher and their methods at first but by the end you see that there is a method to their madness and you learn a lot from them. I have had several teachers like that and they are among my favorites. Not the case with this man. I did every single assignment, tried to work through things, and in the end, my conclusion is that he was just lazy and didnt care to come up with a better way to do the lessons. Second, he never commented on my work. All I ever got was a grade. No explanation of why or what I did good, or ever better, not so good. How am I supposed to learn?! Not only do I not have a class to go to, or lectures to participate in, but my own teacher doesn’t seem to care about teaching me! So what do I do? I write him a nice note on one of my submissions asking for him to please comment so that I can know how to do better. What do I get? A few sparse comments…and a lower grade. LOL! Anyway, needless to say, after a year of prolonging my agony (dumb on my part), I finally took the final today, (which I remembered was open book this time, unlike my mid-term which I forgot and had to take it closed book!) and got to fill out the survey that they ask you to do evaluating the class. Can I tell you, it was extremely cathartic to give him low scores. Ahhhh….the power of a pointless survey to calm the spirit and feed my need to vent.

And that’s what this whole post is really about…venting. I just needed to rant about my dumb class for a few minutes…oh, and the fact that no store carries unsweetened coconut, which I also think it really retarded. That’s the other thing.

And six more to go! I took my final today for my British Romantics class. I don’t think I did well (I KNOW I didn’t do well), but well enough to pass, and that’s all I needed. The important part is I’M DONE with one more class! Hurray! Now if I can just stay on top of Shakespeare…

SO…here is the deal….

After almost two years of trying to finish school online through BYU Independent Study, I am finally buckling down and doing it! I admit, it would be great if I was extremely self-motivated like some people I know and had gotten this done in the few semesters right after I left school, but let’s face it…I AM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR!!! Nancy can tell you. While I have always done well in the world of academia, I have usually done it under the pressure of deadlines, especially in college. After two years of “working on school” while going to work part time, I have only succeeded in finishing three classes. Pathetic. (Anyone who tries to buoy me up by telling me otherwise is a liar.)

So, now I have been gone from school for almost two years, I am six months pregnant, and my husband (also the perpetual student) is graduating next August with only four classes left to finish. (I still have six…technically seven, but I am taking one of my finals this week.) With baby coming and Clint finishing up I feel a real sense of urgency to FINALLY FINISH SCHOOL!!! Maybe this is the pressure that I needed to finally do it. Not ideal, I agree, but so far its working. Since quitting work and really committing to this, I have kept up with my insane school schedule. Granted, its only really been about a week, but hurray for me! I feel a real sense of accomplishment in just having done that much! Especially since most of what I have been doing is for a Shakespeare class that I absolutely loath! (Love the Bard. Hate the class.)

Here is why I am writing about all of this here. I NEED YOUR HELP. You, dear family or friend reading this, dont have to do anything, but just knowing that someone is reading my blog and watching my progress will help me keep up my motivation when it gets tough in a few weeks. I need to be accountable to someone, so I have decided that that someone is YOU. (And you, and you, and you!) At the end of every week I plan on posting about my successes and possibly my bum moving through this process so that, come August, I can be walking across a stage in Provo, Utah receiving my BA in English while my husband and little boy (and anyone else who feels like taking a fun road trip) watch me from the audience.

In the academic sphere I recently tested out of Korean which makes me very happy. I was worried that I wouldn’t pass the test, but through the Lord’s help I was able to pass. I’m not sure what grade I received. It’s just pass or fail to satisfy the language requirement for my major – history.

At this point I only have 4 more classes left and I will have my BA in History. You have no idea how excited I am. I can’t wait until it’s over!

Recently I’ve had a greater sense of how utterly dependent we are on the Lord and how much He takes care of us. He has truly helped me to stay focused and become a lean, mean homework machine.

Clint